It’s been two weeks since I was admitted to the hospital for low/leaking fluid. I wanted to post a short update for anyone interested and for our baby girl to look back on one day!
While it has not been an easy two weeks for Mom or for the two older kids and their Dad at home, baby girl has done amazing so far. She and I are monitored twice daily to check for any funny business going on inside (cord issues, heart rate drops) and for contractions, and so far every single monitoring session has been absolutely perfect. We also have ultrasounds once a week to check on the fluid level and her wellbeing and growth. At the 32 week ultrasound yesterday, the fluid level was actually up from when I was admitted and back into the (very low side of) normal range. While that doesn’t mean I can magically go home or make any other changes, really; it is a great indication that baby girl is happy and healthy and we are on track to continue the pregnancy as long as possible for now.
We are still shooting for 34 weeks to be the earliest for our scheduled C-section delivery, but everyone is hopeful we will be able to sneak past that timeframe to 35 or even 36 weeks. While it’s agonizing thinking about staying here another 3-4 weeks, I also know that every day we can keep her on the inside, will certainly result in less NICU time for her on the outside. So for now, I continue to count down to meeting our girl sometime between January 25 and February 8!
The kids and Connor are doing very well (from my perspective) at home. Connor has been an absolute rockstar Dad holding it all together. We are so thankful to have a caring nanny to help with the kids while Connor is at work, and of course our family to fill in the rest. My Mom and Sister have been so gracious to take the kids once a week overnight so that Connor can come stay with me. I am so happy when he is here with me! Connor has been able to bring the kids for dinner in the cafeteria almost every other day, which fills my heart every time. Cole is such a daddy’s boy, I often doubt he misses me! He does love riding the elevator at the hospital though. Ella is my more sensitive girl and I know this time has been harder on her. I try to fill her up with all the hugs and snuggles she can handle when she visits. We also FaceTime during bedtime stories and breakfast, so I do feel fairly connected still.
All in all, I am trying to constantly remind myself that this time is temporary, it will all be worth it once we are home with our baby girl, and likely the kids will not even remember this hardship when they are older. That is easier said than done most days. One thing that has become so clear to me recently is God’s role in all of this. When we originally came in at the beginning of December to be checked out for suspected leaking, I was sure we would be admitted then. I feel God protected us for that month and allowed me to stay home and spend the holiday season with my family, which is such an incredibly special time to me. I also feel God knew what was best for me and for baby girl. I think He knew I was overdoing it at home. I’ve never been one to sit back, never been great at relaxing, and certainly I am not good at being separated from the kids. I think God knew I needed to be in a place that would keep baby girl and me safe and allow me to rest more until delivery.
Truth be told, I have been angry with God since this all started. I didn’t understand His place in our diagnosis (and still don’t really), and didn’t feel His presence through our surgery journey. I’m not sure if I just blocked Him out during that time, but this is the first time I have felt His overwhelming presence and really understood His place in all of this. It has brought me such peace in this extremely trying time.
Thank you to all those who have reached out with well wishes, prayed for us, delivered food, brought me activities to keep my busy, helped with our kids, been there for us, and followed along. We really are so entirely blessed in this life and will never be able to say that enough. I look forward to writing another update in two weeks, hopefully just before delivery!